Becoming a better person is a life-long journey that's not always easy. It can be tempting at times to fall into old patterns and stay inside your comfort zone. After all, change means you're entering something new, and that can be scary and demanding. However, the journey is always worth it in the end, and putting in the effort is incredibly commendable on its own.
The way we think is imperative In order to really commit to change, and there are 4 things to keep in mind that will help you get into the right mind-frame to stimulate self-growth.
The way we talk, act, and carry ourselves is closely related to how we think about ourselves. If you look down on yourself, you can get stuck in the mind frame that no matter what's going on in your life that's impacting you negatively, it's what you deserve. However, as Bijan Kholghi from www.coaching-online.org explains, we all deserve to live in a state of well-being. Your life should give you joy, and you should find satisfaction in what you do. Thinking that you deserve nothing but the worst means you're actually pushing yourself to stay the same - if you don't deserve better, then why even try to change?
Reminding yourself that everyone, including yourself, deserves to be happy can help you find the motivation to make the necessary changes in your life, and that means working on reaching your full potential.
A lot of the time, people find it hard to see themselves in a positive light. When that's the case, hearing someone call you a good person, or even trying to tell yourself that can feel like a lie and a burden. If this is something you're dealing with as well, insisting on phrases you deem overly positive can actually make you want to stop trying to better yourself because they just don’t ring true.
However, what you might find helpful is using bridge statements that will allow you to develop a better relationship with who you are. When you do something wrong, for example, instead of thinking "I'm the worst", try saying "I could've done that better". It may seem overly simple, or even silly at the beginning, but learning how to be kind to yourself is the first step in growing as a person. Everyone has flaws and mishaps. You cannot move forward in your journey until you learn to recognize your traits and behaviors, assess them for what they really are, and then accept them. Just like judging others won't make them change, judging yourself too harshly won't do any good either.
Instead, accept your flaws or shortcomings, as well as the fact that you'll always have those - you're only human after all so that you can start working on moving forward and improving yourself.
It can be incredibly frustrating to try and do something relatively simple, only to realize you revert back to your old ways as soon as you're not completely mindful of what you're doing. It's important to remember that forming new habits takes time. It usually takes over two months of active practice to change a certain behavior, so if you're struggling to get the hang of something new, just keep trying. The process will take longer at first, but eventually, it will become second nature.
Whether that's the way you talk about yourself, how you interact with others, or even something work-related, following through is incredibly important. Don't push yourself too hard either, or you'll just end up giving up on it after a while. You don't want to force things with your inner self any more than you would in the external world - being demanding leads to resistance, and that's exactly what you don't want.
You will fail - as will anyone else on the journey to self-growth. Sometimes it will be due to external factors, sometimes we will intentionally sabotage ourselves, and sometimes we aren't even aware that we're standing in our own way. Failing is a part of life, and without it, we might have a hard time finding the motivation to change for the better. After all, why change if everything is going well?
The main focus shouldn't be on the fact you've failed at something, but on how you've handled the failure. It's an opportunity to grow and improve the way you think and act in the face of adversity. It's a chance to learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. A lot of times, it can feel like starting over is just as hard as trying to do something that you've never tried before, but most often than not, success will come once you learn how to cope with failure accordingly.
The road of self-growth is never an easy one, but it's always worth the effort. There are times when you'll want to stay in your comfort zone, fall back into old patterns and just be complacent with how things are now.
However, stepping out of that zone will not only teach you new lessons about yourself but also about life. Whenever you feel like giving up, try to remind yourself of these 4 things, pick yourself up, and set yourself right back on the course you want to be on.
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